I felt it was time for an entry. I need to get something out.

I love how some people assume that they can get things past me. Like I'm some sort of an idiot or something.

Sorry, I just happen to be a little bit more intelligent than what you had assumed.

Right now, I could fucking beat the shit out of any living thing....preferably something MALE.

Yes, its one of those entries. Do not continue reading unless you want to hear me bitch about the opposite sex. Whom I fucking hate right now.

I was always told that a boy isn't worth it if they make you cry. I don't know if I can agree with that at all times...but right now I'm accepting it.

Something really insignificant happened today. However, such a small incident can say a lot. I just don't appreciate someone thinking that they can pull wool right over my eyes. I'm not a fucking moron.

I think I'm going to be on hiatus from xanga for a while.

I find that more and more I'm not taking advantage of blogging...but that could very well mean that things are just going that great for me right now. I tend to blog like crazy when I'm having some sort of a dilemma or my world is just simply crashing down.

So...until I run into those bumps in life...I bid you adieu.

School, school, school...

This week has flown by but dragged at the same time. Getting up for a 9:30am class everyday isn't exactly one of my favorite things to do but it has been nice to be back.

I'm not really dreading this semester which is a good sign. I guess this means that I'm refreshed from a summer off and I'm raring to go.

Wow...I'm watching the MTV Awards post-show as we speak. Talk about screw-ups galore. I know I take note of these things more than your average joe but damn...John Norris was about to toss to break saying that there was more to come...when actually, the producers had to have been trying to tell him that he needed to wrap up the show. Ha ha, way to go suckers.

So yeah, no one comments any more. I'm going to bitch about that again. It seems that in xangaland you either get a few props or none at all. I'm definitely in the midst of a severe prop dought right now or something. WTF.

Not much else to say here. No earth shattering news to share from me to whoever reads my blog anymore.

Last night was my last hurrah before classes started up again. A friend/co-worker of mine was having a kegger and I was cordially invited.

Contrary to popular belief, I haven't been to more than a few kegger parties. Usually, I either head out downtown to the bars or bring along my own alcohol of choice to a get together. Keggers are a much different category in themselves.

So, last night was a lot of fun. I haven't been that drunk in a while. Dan ended up going to the shindig as well...and there haven't been many times where I've had the opportunity to see him get wasted. It was quite interesting.

No one at this party knew that Dan and I are seeing one another, including our co-worker Nate who invited us to the shindig. At one point during the night one of Nate's friends approached Dan asking if we were an item. Apparently, he figured this out since we had a tendancy to stick around one another during the night. After that, Nate's friend got progressively more drunk and started preaching to Dan and I how cool we were and that we should take good care of one another and things of that nature. At the time, I was a little gone myself so I didn't really care that he was making it blatantly clear that Dan and I were together. However, whoever was listening...and didn't know we were an item....well they quickly learned. I don't know if anyone caught on to this...but it may very well be likely that our little secret is now out into the open.

Meanwhile, while all of that was going on a former roommate of Nate's, who I've met and known for a couple of months, kept persuing me. Ever since meeting the guy I knew that he had a thing for me. He's a sweet, funny and cool guy but....ha...little did he know...I was with Dan. I'm not one for breaking hearts. So, I wasn't trying to give him the cold shoulder or anything. I was having fun and that's all that matters.

Oh...and playing a game of midnight croquet in the dark...nothing beats that. Especially when everyone's drunk and hitting everyone else's balls. lol Good times.

All in all, it was a good party. Definitely what I need right before school started up again.

Quite a few things have happened since I last wrote in my blog. Of course, this all goes without saying...things are bound to happen.

Things are good right now. I've had an entire summer off from school so that I could avoid burning myself out even further. Now I actually think I'm ready to go back. I'm a little apprehensive about going back but I think this semester will be one of the best I've had. Classes start next Monday and that thought just continues to haunt me. I'm anxious to see how all of my classes are going to be structured. That will ultimately determine whether or not this semester is going to be an easy one or not.

Dan and I are still together. I can't believe that we've been together off and on (more on than off) this entire summer. We've lasted for almost two months now and that alone just blows my mind. You would think since we work with one another atleast 4 days out of the week we'd be driving one another crazy. That's not the case one bit and I don't think it will be any time soon. Dan graduated from college on August 16th and its even hard to believe that he's done. I wish I could say the same.

I still wonder occassionally if I did the right thing about Connor. I stopped calling him as soon as I was back from Colorado. I figured that if this guy was really into me then he'd get back in touch with me. Obviously, that wasn't the case because I haven't heard from him since. It definitely makes my life less complicated right now having to worry about dating two guys. Then again, like I've said in previous entries I'm not someone who can see more than one person. It just doesn't feel right for me to be doing that in any case. In the end, I'm actually satisfied with my decision to give up on the whole Connor thing and see what happened with Dan. Dan and I have known eachother for quite a while now which was a definite plus in my mind. Its always so much easier to have a relationship with someone who you were initially friends with because you already have a lot of knowledge about that person, good and bad.

I really don't know where I was going with this entry....

I guess what I'm ultimately trying to say is that I'm very happy right now. I'm happy with my decisions and I think that I chose the right path....so to speak. This is the first time I've ever been in a relationship where things were taken slowly and at first that bothered me a little. I'm used to being so fast paced but I know that I've managed to slow myself down when it comes to Dan and I no longer have an urge to be so fast paced. We both agreed from the very beginning...way back in May I believe...that if we were going to pursue anything beyond our friendship that we both needed to take it slow.

Now my life isn't consumed by having a boyfriend. That is a first for me. In the past I got so easily caught up in things in my past relationships that all I ever cared about was being with my boyfriend at every single moment. Its sickening to think that I did this to myself. However, after I broke up with Tim I knew that I couldn't do that to myself any more in the future because it cuts you off from so many things. You basically have no life. You're life is consumed by this one person and the same holds true for them. I've seen so many couples who do this to one another and they don't realize it until after they've ended the relationship.

Nope, that's not me anymore, nor will it ever be again. I have a life outside of what Dan and I have. I've got school to concentrate on, I have friends that I go out with every so often, I don't find myself missing the guy at every single moment. Sure, I love his company but that doesn't mean I have to be attached to him.

I've learned a lot from all of my relationships. Anyone could probably say the same. However, I think its wonderful that I'm still learning as I'm progressing with a current relationship. Dan has managed to change some things about myself in a positive way. He isn't aware of any of it because they aren't really obvious changes. I'm lucky not only to have him in my life, but to have him in my life and to make me aware of such things. Its all sooo good and to top it off, I'm really happy and I'm actually being entirely me through out it all.

Life is just freaking awesome right now.

Currently Reading Memoirs of a Geisha By Arthur S. Golden see related